Schedules: An Age Old Debate and Tips on What’s Best for You

The create a schedule or not to create a schedule. That is the question.

Every baby book seems to have different advice on how to handle this, but let me tell you what actually worked in real life experience. From there you can make your own decision on what is best for you (and your baby too).

The Arguments

Usually there are two sides to every story. Unfortunately when it comes to creating a schedule for your baby there are actually more than that. One set of book-writing doctors claim that creating a schedule for the baby can hinder their own personal development and in some cases deny them of food when they are really hungry. Another set of these doctors claim that a strict routine is best to keep the baby on a positive path to growing. Another set of doctors say that only the mother and baby know what is best. So who do you listen to when they all tell you something different?

When a baby is allowed to eat without a schedule, whenever it is hungry, it will develop a habit of “snacking”. This means that a mother could feed the baby at 9am and by 10am it will think it’s hungry again. When the baby is offered food it will eat just a little, “snacking” on what it is given. This method can leave mom exhausted and possibly create overweight babies.

A baby put on a strict schedule leaves little flexibility for mom or baby. For instance, if the baby is to eat at 9am, some moms insist that the baby eat at precisely 9am and no sooner or later. So what does that mother do if she has an appointment at that time, or worse, just a little after that time so she is actually en route when it’s time to feed?

FlexSched

At least that is what I called it. What I learned is that a FlexSched, or flexible schedule, was incredibly ideal. I got the benefit of having my baby on a regular schedule without the need to stick strictly to it. An ideal schedule for a new baby is to feed them every 2.5 to 3 hours and make them have awake time after the feeding for at least a half an hour. So our day basically looked like this:

• 6am: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 6:30am: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 7/7:30am: Nap time
• 8:30am: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 9am: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 9:30/10am: Nap time
• 11am: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 11:30am: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 12/12:30pm: Nap time
• 1:30pm: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 2pm: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 2:30/3pm: Nap time
• 4pm: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 4:30pm: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 5/5:30pm: Nap time
• 6:30pm: Wake, get changed, then eat
• 7pm: Spend a half an hour to an hour playing with mommy
• 8/8:30pm: Bath (some days), lotioned, and dressed for bed time
• 8:30/9pm: Fed in the dark then put to bed

This schedule was also followed with feedings roughly every three to four hours during the night. Those times are not included on the schedule because they fluctuated between 3 to 4 hours depending on when my baby woke and when I woke to feed him. The nap times also varied a bit based on when he wanted to sleep and when he was awake. I didn’t try to force him to nap at those times, but I did make him stay up for at least a half an hour after each feeding so that he did not learn to associate eating with sleeping. Sometimes it was a challenge, but I stuck to the plan the best I could.

Again, the schedule was flexible. It was not a 2.5 hour schedule, nor was it a 3. I kept it within that range based on his need. The most important part of any routine is making sure that the baby is eating on a fairly consistent basis.

Why Bother With Schedules?

A good question. I know some mothers who didn’t bother with them at all and things went just fine for them. I know other mothers who were militant in their schedules and it worked for them. One thing that I can tell you from experience is that keeping your baby on a regular schedule will help you plan your day and will give you more ability to go out into the world again. Why does the schedule matter for that? It helps you plan the best time to go to the store based on when you baby is supposed to eat, be awake, or sleep. Generally nap time is the best time to do this because babies naturally nap in car seats. Not only does a flexible schedule allow you to get out more often, but it helps you plan what to pack and how much of it. One thing I started to notice after just a week of this flexible scheduling was that my son started to know when it was time to eat and when it wasn’t. It helped create more stability for him in his new environment.

In addition to this, a schedule will help your baby understand the difference between night and day, as is explained in my Nightowls post.

Keep in Mind

When considering this advice, please keep a few things in mind. First of all, remember that whatever you do, it should be what is best for you and your baby. If this scheduling just doesn’t work for you, perhaps you are a mother like the unscheduled mother I know. A routineless routine could be just what works for you.

This scheduling should not be started until your baby is at least a week old. Somewhere between one to two weeks is best. The first week the baby will not absorb any of the routine and it could just create frustration for both baby and you. With that said, the sooner after that week you can start the better it will be for everyone!

When following a schedule, remember that as time goes on it will need to be adapted to your baby’s new needs. For more information about adapting their schedule read the post about how much to feed your baby.

How to Combat Baby Gas

In the article, 25 Essentials to Prepare for a Baby, I mentioned the importance of a certain type of bottle, nipple, and Mylicon drops. Here is why:

So your baby is obviously eating enough food. He or she is not interested in more than what you are already giving, yet the baby still will not stop fussing. What is the deal! Odds are this just means your baby is having gas problems. It is fairly common in infants. Just like a baby needs to be patted on the back to help them burp, they also sometimes need a little help with gas at the other end as well. It takes a little time for them to learn how to burp or fart after joining the big world.

There are four different problems that can help contribute to infant gas problems; five if the baby is being formula fed. Sound overwhelming? Not to worry. These four problems can all be addressed at the same time, and should be as well, because odds are they each are a contributing factor.

So how can you help?

Choose the Right Bottle

These days there are so many bottles on the market that it can be overwhelming to choose just one brand. You walk into the store in search of a bottle and are confronted with shelves stocked full of them. With so many choices, how do you choose the bottle that is right for your baby?

The most important factor in choosing a bottle is making sure that it has air flow at the bottom. This helps prevent air from getting trapped in the bottle as the baby drinks, creating less air bubbles and greatly reducing the risk of bottle-feeding related gas. My personal choice is the Playtex Ventaire Advanced. They are angled, easy to hold bottles that allow air to flow through the bottle as you feed the baby, preventing air from getting trapped and causing gas. There are two different types to choose from, and which you want to use is up to you. For breastfeeding mothers who have need for the occasional bottle, the Playtex Ventaire Advanced Natural is best. the nipple is roughly the same shape as a real nipple, so it helps to prevent nipple confusion. For non-breastfeeding mothers, either the regular Playtex Ventaire Advanced or the Natural work just fine. The only different between the two bottles is the shape of the nipple.

But wait, there are six and nine ounce bottles! Now what? For the first two or three months the 6oz bottle works just fine. But if you would rather spend less and plan ahead, getting the 9oz bottles instead is your best bet. It will have more use to you until the baby starts on solid foods and will once again be eating less from the bottle.

Choosing the Right Nipple

Choosing the right nipple for the bottle is essential to helping prevent gas and colic. And just like choosing a bottle, looking over the selection can be overwhelming. So what should you look for when shopping for one?

First of all, make sure you are getting the right nipple for your bottle. Different styles of bottle will require different shape of nipple. There are only two styles, so don’t worry! Just choose your bottle first. There are the traditional, “narrow” nipples, and the wider, “natural” ones.

Once you have it narrowed down to the right shape, you then move on to flow. There are three stages of flow: slow, for  newborn babies up to roughly three months of age; medium, for babies between the ages of 3 to 6 months; and fast or rapid, for babies 6 months and older. Make sure you are choosing the right flow for your baby.

Aside from shape and flow there is one more factor to look for. Some nipples are specially designed to help reduce gas and colic. So how do you know which one it is? Read the packaging. In general, Gerber, Dr Brown’s, and Playtex nipples all have this colic and gas reduction feature. When you first buy your bottles check the box to see what kind of nipple comes on it (and what the flow is, as some are sold as slow or medium or fast). The box should tell you what the flow is and if it helps reduce colic and gas. All of the Playtex Ventaire bottles come with the special nipple.

Mylicon Drops

First of all, what are Mylicon Drops and are they safe for infants? I know this is the first thing you wonder when someone tells you to use a drug of any sort for you baby. This is a good reaction to have, as not all things are safe for babies. So let me answer this question for you with a link to information on WebMD as well. Infant Mylicon Drops are the #1 pediatrician-recommended anti-gas medicine. They help relieve the discomfort of infant gas frequently caused by air swallowing or by certain formulas or foods. It is safe because the drops are not absorbed into your baby’s system. Mylicon drops are safe enough for even the newest of newborns, and they’re safe enough to give with every feeding.

The drops can be administered either orally in accordance with the dosage on the instructions, or mixed in with a bottle at feeding time. Make sure you are giving the recommended dosage, however going a little over will not cause your baby to overdose.

If you have other concerns about the drops, or if they are not helping, contact your pediatrician.

Burping

Insufficient burping can also contribute to gas problems. Sometimes it can be hard to burp a newborn when all they want to do after eating is sleep. But this step is very important. Do not allow the baby to sleep and get away with not giving you anything. They need to give at least one burp for every 2oz of food in the first three months of their life. If he or she is insistent on trying ot sleep there are a few different things you can do to help keep them awake.

1. Make occasional whistles to startle them awake.
2. Gently slap the bottom off their bare feet.
3. Start stripping off clothes. The warmth of their clothing is a comfort to them, so without it the cold air will hit their skin and help keep them awake.

For Formula Feeding Moms

After trying the other four options if your infant is still abnormally fussy contact your pediatrician. The solution could be as simple as switching from regular formula to soy. You do not necessarily need approval from the pediatrician to try making this switch, but if you do move to soy either way give it at least a week to work out the other food out of his or her system before giving up. Like changing bottles and nipples, this is not an overnight cure.

It Still Isn’t Working!

You have tried all of the methods listed above and your baby is still being unusually fussy. This is when that one word no parent wants to hear comes out. Your baby most likely has colic. Unfortunately there is no magic cure for colic, regardless of what anyone might tell you. But keep up with the advice in this article and make sure you are sufficiently burping your baby and it will start to clear up on its own. Meanwhile, seek help from family and friends.Remember the number one rule of motherhood, a run down mommy is no good to baby. Do not be afraid to ask for help!

How Much Should I Feed My Infant?

This is a hard question to answer for any first time mother, and it is one every new mom seeks a resolution for.  The sad truth is, there is no magic number. Most pediatricians say newborn babies should have 2-4oz every 2-4hrs. Only mom will be able to tell what the right schedule is for your baby. This will take some practice.

Before we dive into this topic too much, the general rule of thumb is 2.5 oz x lbs. So if your baby is 6lbs, he or she should be eating about 15oz throughout the course of the day. If he weighs 10lbs he should be eating about 25oz in a day. How much they eat at what time is up to the baby and you.

So Where Do I Start?

The best way to start is with 2oz of breast milk or formula every two hours. If your baby isn’t finishing the 2oz bottle, try feeding him or her every three hours instead; again if it still seems like too much, try every four hours. Likewise, if your baby finishes the bottle like a trooper and is fussy again before the two-hour marker comes, try feeding him or her 3oz instead, and if that still isn’t enough go with four. A hungry baby will start by making suckling motions with his mouth, then perhaps gum smacking, followed by crying. What mom’s job is at this point is to read those cues and adjust accordingly.

Like every first time mother, I struggled with this. I was afraid of over or under feeding my baby. For the first week or two he only ate 1oz every 2hrs. After that I bumped him up to 2oz every 2hrs. Then a period of fussiness kicked in. Only an hour after he ate my son would start crying and nothing I did would console him. I didn’t want to just stick a bottle in his mouth to try to quiet him. I wanted to know what the real problem was. I thought that perhaps he was lactose intolerant, so I fed him soy formula for a week. That didn’t help. I thought he was overly tired and wouldn’t sleep so I tried sitting and rocking with him. In the end I discovered the solution was simple. All he wanted was more food. Once I started feeding him 3oz every 2hrs he was content for a couple of weeks. Then he started fussing about a half an hour before his feeding time again. I remedied this by feeding him 4oz every 2hrs. For the first feeding it worked like a charm. For the second feeding he didn’t want to finish his bottle. So what do I do now? I adjusted his feeding schedule. Instead of every two hours I started feeding him every three hours. This worked like a charm. As he grew older and his appetite started to grow I made similar adjustments to his feeding schedule.

The only way to know what is right for your baby is to read his cues and adjust accordingly.

Typical Baby Progress:

• 1-2 Weeks: 1-2 oz every 2 hrs
• 2-4 Weeks: 2-3 oz every 2 hrs
• 4-6 Weeks: 3-4 oz every 3-4 hrs
• 6-8 Weeks: 4-5 oz every 3-4 hrs
• 8-12 Weeks:  5-6 oz every 3-4 hrs

Some time between 8-12 weeks of age a baby will start sleeping longer through the night, requiring less late night feedings. Generally by 12 weeks of age they will only wake one or two times during the night for a bottle. Trust me, you will know their schedule as well as they do as time goes on. I started to wake shortly before my son at night. I would go, make his bottle, and by the time I came back to the room with it he was just starting to wake up.

In a future post I will address how to start weaning your baby off those mid night feedings after they are past the 12 week marker.

I’m Not Feeling Well: What is Mastitis?

Within the first month or two of birth a nursing mother can find herself feeling severely under the weather. If you are experiencing the following symptoms see your OBGYN right away!

• Breast tenderness or warmth to the touch
• Hard breasts and skin redness
• Pain or burning while breastfeeding
• Fever of 101 or higher
• Sudden fevers followed immediately by sudden chills
• Breast engorgement
• Nipple discharge that may contain a substance that looks like mucus or blood
• Fatigue
• Joint aches

If you are suffering from these symptoms you may have what is medically known as Mastitis.

What is Mastitis?

Mastitis is a breast infection usually caused by a common bacteria (Staphylococcus aureus) found on normal skin. The bacteria enter through a break or crack in the skin, usually on the nipple. The infection takes place in the fatty tissue of the breast and causes swelling. This swelling pushes on the milk ducts. The result is pain and lumps in the infected breast. Breast infections usually occur in women who are breastfeeding.

What is the Treatment?

Thankfully the treatment for mastitis is a simple one, once you see your doctor. After confirming that you have this infection they will prescribe a special anti-biotic that you must take for 7 days. Once you are done, things go back to normal. Though you cannot often get much breast milk at this time, it is still recommended that you pump during the treatment to help prevent further buildup. Ask your doctor if he or she thinks it is safe for you to feed the baby this breast milk. I was advised against it, but I had an advanced case.

Can It Come Back?

Yes. Unfortunate, but true. I had it twice, other nursing mothers that I know had it three or four times. The bad news is, it can come back. The good news is, once you have had it once you will recognize it again quickly if it does return. You also do not have to go see your doctor more than once. Simply call back and leave a message with a nurse telling them that you have the infection again and they can call your prescription for the anti-biotic to the pharmacy for you.

How Will I Know the First Time I Have It?

This is a tricky question to any new mom who has had no experience with this sort of thing. It is taken as just a normal fever, especially in the fall, winter, and spring months, and some mothers try to wait it out like any other fever.

When I first had mastitis it came on slowly. First my breasts started firming. I didn’t know what that meant so I thought it was engorgement and tried pumping more. But nothing was coming out. Then I started to notice a slimy mucus that came out while I was pumping. Sometimes it was just a small bit and other times it was a big enough glob to clog up the breast pump. This worried me a little but I thought maybe it was a normal thing when a nursing woman is engorged. Soon I was suffering from terrible chills that made all of my joints ache, especially my knees. At this point I figured I was coming down with something. After that I noticed more tenderness and swelling in my breasts and soon one side was warm to the touch and felt like I has a smooth rock inside. Then the chills were followed by a fever. It would go back and forth. I would have a fever and feel like I was burning up one minute, then a couple of minutes later I would be freezing and no amount of blankets could warm me back up again. I ended up having to call my mother over to help me with my son because I was tired and sick and couldn’t do much for him. Even pumping became a chore that I would often times fall asleep during!

Let my mistake be a lesson to you. If you start to experience any of these symptoms do not wait like I did! Contact your doctor, tell him or her your concerns, and get it taken care of!

The Great Debate: To Breastfeed or Not to Breastfeed

Breastfeeding vs Bottle Feeding vs Formula Feeding

Most new mothers struggle with the choice of how is best to feed their infant. There is no right or wrong answer. Every situation calls for a decision that is best for both mother and baby since every mother-child relationship is different.

There was a time when breastfeeding was better for the baby. The nutrition that came from breast milk was more nourishing and gave the baby more of the nutrients he or she needed with each meal. But these days with the advancement of formulas, choosing to formula feed a baby does not deprive them of any of the nutrients essential to their growth. That is not to say that there isn’t a personal gain to breastfeeding. Some nursing moms claim they have a stronger bond with their child because of it. This is not something I can either prove or disprove, but I can say that, as a formula feeding mom, my child and I have a bond that is clear to everyone who is around is. No breastfeeding necessary.

Breastfeeding

Considering what I stated above, I do believe that every mother should at least try to breastfeed their baby. It can be a trying process for some moms and babies and can take a couple of weeks to get in sync with each other so that things run smoothly. If you cannot or choose not to nurse, do not think of yourself as less of a person for it.

For me, the choice to stop nursing was a very stressful one. I wanted so badly to have that time of connection with my son, but day in and day out for three or four weeks we struggled with it.  The roof of his mouth was arched up in such a way that getting proper latch was proving to be impossible. The both of us would spend that nursing time crying and it made me start to dread feedings. I have no doubt that he did as well. In the end, the stress it was causing both myself and my son just wasn’t worth it to me. I wanted to enjoy that time with my baby, not fear it as I had grown to do. So I moved on to the next step.

Bottle Feeding

After realizing that I just couldn’t nurse I turned to the bottle. At a certain set time throughout the day I would hook myself up to the pump and get as much breast milk as I could. What was used for the day was stored in the refrigerator and what was left over was put in the freezer for future use. At first this worked wonderfully. It gave me the ability to share the responsibility of two-hour feedings with my husband. For some women, this alternative will work out wonderfully. Especially those with high milk production.

So why stop if it was working so well? There were a few reasons. First, I didn’t produce a lot of milk and it started to become a struggle keeping up with the demand of what my son needed. Especially when he decided to go from 2oz to 3oz and soon after that to 4oz every two hours. My husband I would celebrate a full 2oz bottle from both sides combined at a certain point, even when it still wasn’t enough. It felt like I was spending more time with the breast pump than I was with my son. I also had mastitis twice, which stopped me from being able to pump much if at all for a week each time I had it. The pain was just too much, and on occasion there would also be a little blood in the breast milk.

At this point I started feeling terrible. Not physically. Mentally. My cousins, my sister, they all successfully breastfed their babies up until the age of one. I felt like a failure for not being able to do so as well, and I felt like my family would look badly on me for switching to formula. Again, I was thrown into a world of stress and tears, though thankfully this time it was only me and not my son as well. The one night my husband and I sat down and talked about my fears and our next option. He made me realize that in order to have a happy, healthy baby the best choice I could make was to move on to the next step.

Formula Feeding

Let me make this perfectly clear to all of you mothers out there, whether first time moms or fifth: Making the choice to formula feed does not make you less of a mother. Do not let anyone try to make you feel that way. The most important result in all of this is a happy, healthy baby and mother. Your baby depends on you for so incredibly much more than just breast milk, so if this struggle is getting in your way of doing what needs to be done aside from feeding (ex: flipping sleep schedules, getting needed rest, eating, or just spending time with the new baby) then it is time for you to stop thinking and just make the change.

There is nothing tricky about formula feeding. Modern formulas have a wonderful nutritional value, and they don’t digest as fast as breast milk so the baby can go longer between feedings. You may not realize it yet, but that will be a small blessing for you. Aside from what baby books tell you about the pro’s of formula feeding, there are a few things that can be said for this option.

First, it gives mom more freedom. And I’m not talking about time to go out and do other things (though it does make that easier). I’m talking about emotional freedom. My stress level dropped so drastically in just a couple of days after starting this that my husband started to wonder what was wrong with me. He was used to coming home to an emotional wreck every night. Instead he came home to a smiling wife. It allowed my husband to give me time off while he took care of the baby. It gave me the ability to have a night out with my husband. And it allowed me more time to spend with my son, as well as more time to do other things around the house (including getting more naps). I was liberated from the pump!

Just remember, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Every mother has to decide what is best both physically and emotionally for both the baby and themselves.